Children need to experience competence to gain confidence. They need connections with adults to reinforce points of competence. They need character to know they should contribute to society, and character is forged through deep connections to others. 

Contribution builds character, and further strengthens connections. Children who contribute to their communities gain confidence as they feel more competent. All of this leads them to recognize that they can make a difference and change their environments, which provides a heightened sense of control.

A key coping strategy is turning to people with whom you have a strong connection.